Procrastination

Often times, the "staring into the fire" activities prevent me from starting an art project. I don't literally mean I stare into a fire. These activities usually entail various social media websites, watching television, playing a video game, watching YouTube videos, watching Netflix, etc etc. The mind numbing nature of these activities pulls me into a trap and will prevent me from working on an art project. As far as why I avoid starting an art project, I usually over think whatever the project is, think it will involve an immense amount of work, and decide that the "staring into the fire" activity is the easier activity to do, which it is but it's no where near as productive nor fun. "Staring into the fire" activities are not "fun." They're numbing. They prevent you from feeling and you're essentially locked in a trance. After a long day, there's really nothing better to do than one of these activities. The art projects are productive and fun but requires some work. Overall, the product at the end is much more enjoyable than the "product" at the end of the mind numbing activity. I put the word product in quotes because these activities don't yield any product.
The way I get around this is simply the "suck it up" attitude and I get whatever activity I need to do done. I force myself to start working on whatever the project may be and after a little nudge, I start to enjoy myself and it no longer feels like work. The mentality of the art project being work only seems like it when I think about the project. When I'm actually working on the project, it doesn't feel like work. It's interesting that my mind works that way although I'm sure others think like this as well.

Fear

Let's face it. We all have fear, whether we know it or not. Whether it's fear of failure, fear of criticism, or a fear of being misunderstood, it's all fear. We may not go right out and say, "I'm afraid of failing!" It would probably come out as "This is going to come out awful" and the "this" could be almost anything. Fear plays a major role in our lives and can often times restrict us from doing great things or experiencing great things because we let it control us. 

I'm no different. Sometimes my fear gets the best of me. Over the years, I've realized I have a large fear of doing something "wrong." I'd constantly worry about the perfect way to perform a monologue or perform scenes in a show but there's no "perfect way." There's no such thing as perfection in any field of work and when it comes to art, there is no right and wrong. There's only what is. While preparing for a monologue or for scenes in a show, each time I say the lines, I try to say them in different ways, that way there is no settled "correct" way to say it. If you memorize a way to say something, chances are it would come out stiff and unnatural. As an actor, there's almost nothing worse than that. While on stage, I try to place essentially all my attention on my scene partner. That way, I'm not thinking about "Did I say that right? Does my arm look weird? Did my voice just crack?" and a bunch of other distracting thoughts that have no use in the scene. I've been improving this habit over the years but I'm not entirely sure if it will go away completely. I guess I'll find that out. 

Always remember, "there's nothing to fear but fear itself," just like FDR said. 

The Art of Collecting Lightbulbs

Before reading this chapter, I did not think that having a collection could be considered art. It never struck me as a form of art. But art, "for some is making, for other it is having." Immediately after reading this chapter, I started to think if there was anything I collected. The first thing that came into my mind was snow globes. I love collecting snow globes. Any time a family member, distant relative, or friend goes somewhere I have not, been I always ask them to pick up a snow globe for me. Right now, I have over 45 snow globes. I don't think that I would be a "snow globe enthusiast" as Hugh Francis Hicks was with lightbulbs, and I certainly don't think I would go and steal snow globes as he stole light bulbs. Before this chapter, it was a simple hobby, but calling it an art brings a different light to it. Maybe it's not really art. I'm not putting them on public display, at least not now. Who knows what the future might bring?

The Art of Making Art Without Lifting a Finger

This chapter brings a very question important to my attention and to all that read it. What is art and what should we consider art? It's a coincidence that I read this chapter shortly after STAC discussed if Pollock should be considered an artist. Art doesn't necessarily need to have a particular meaning behind it but there should be some meaning behind it or a specific intention by the artist. Ray Johnson's constant love, for the lack of a better word, of the number 13 most likely has a meaning behind it. It's not known to us, his friends, and maybe not even to himself. We won't find out now because he's no longer living but chances are if asked why he loved the number 13 so much, he could justify it. A lot of the process of considering what is art is the artist being able to justify it being a work of art. If you can justify it, then perhaps it is art. Sometimes even a work justified as art may not be a work of art. The "process" of what we consider art is very complicated and not set in stone because there are so many different forms of art, it's impossible to create a universal system to call a work art.

The Art of Having a Lofty Perspective

"So how to define the beautiful?" How does one really describe what beauty is? This chapter obviously speaks a lot about beauty, both in life and art. People have attempted to create a rational answer, like the Greeks, but is there really one? Who is to say what is beautiful and what isn't? Beauty is really a social construct. Beauty changes over time and it changes depending on where you are in the world. Society could easily change the meaning of the word beauty. What is beautiful now probably wasn't considered beautiful a hundred years ago. Our version of beauty, as far as fashion goes, leans more on the scandalous side a hundred years ago. As far as beauty in nature goes, it depends on the person and the time. Some aspects of nature are lovely to some and atrocious to others. But then again, who is one to decide what in nature is or is not beautiful?

The Accidental Masterpiece: The Art of Being Artless

One line stuck out to me as I was reading this chapter. "Painting will change your life." I was never really fond of painting. I was always told that I was never much of an artist and that stuck to me in a sense. I never bothered to paint or draw or anything in the fine arts field. But then I was introduced to splatter painting and that changed my life. I had finally understood the joy of fine arts and I was really into it. I wouldn't consider pursuing it but it's a nice hobby. It numbs my mind, I stop thinking. I'm the type of person who constantly thinks and this is the one and only fine art that does that to me.

Bonnard's Life Script

Pierre Bonnard

 I like the piece to the left because it has a serene feel to it. The way the sky is painted is interesting to me, I like the way the colors blend together. The blue water also stands out to me. The water to the right is distinctly blue but the farther left it is, the clearer it gets. Water is also something that fascinates me. I've always enjoyed water fountains and the ocean so it's no surprise to me that my eyes are drawn to the water.

The piece to the right is to my liking because it has a very child-like feel to it. It reminds me of a child's fantasy world. I believe it depicts an actual place. I wonder if the painting is of a place Bonnard was fond of at some point in his life, maybe even his childhood if he intentionally instilled this piece with a child-like feeling. All the vibrant colors reminds me of a fantasy world where everything is fun and nice. There's something comforting about it, something very warm and inviting.

I've noticed a common theme: every piece that I have chosen of Bonnard's work has water in it. I did not intentionally pick them for this reason though. The piece to the left is to my liking because I like the way the ocean is drawn. It looks almost as if two oceans are mixing together as the ocean is painted two different colors. There's so much more going on in this painting but I can't stop focusing on the water. The way the waves are drawn also fascinate me. I couldn't explain why even if I tried.

The Accidental Masterpiece: Intro

There was one part of the introduction that stuck out to me in particular. "One of his [Dr. Hick's] daughters recalled patients abandoned in the dental chair with peroxide still bubbling in their mouths." Dr. Hick was a dentist who had his own little museum full of lightbulbs. I find it absolutely amazing how someone can be so excited about their art that they completely forget everything that's going on around them, like his/her patient for example. Everyone should be just as invested in their art for this scenario to occur. That strong of a passion is something everyone should have about something. It doesn't have to be art related. Everyone should have something that they're that passionate about that they'll forget their patient in their dental chair with peroxide in their mouth or some other extreme variation of that scenario.

Drip Painting

This is my other art series using drip paintings. I made about 12 of the small paintings and I decided to combine several of the paintings with a common theme. I know the green doesn't match but I purposely intended the painting on top to stand out from the others; this was a common theme in my previous series as well. I feel as if this piece is very spring/summer related, excluding the center piece. It makes sense now that I think about it because I love spring and summer, mainly because I love warm weather. With the warmer months of the year finally approaching, I'd say this piece is very fitting.

More Plans

Well I finished my splatter painting combination. I won't post a picture of the finished product because it's the same as the previous picture I posted except it's mounted on paper now. Now that the splatter paintings are complete, I'm focusing on my drip paintings. I'm essentially doing the same thing with these paintings. I'm arranging the paintings on a board to be mounted. I still have to work out which paintings I want to use and how I want to arrange them. The majority of my paintings have a theme of red inside them so I will most likely include the majority of those paintings since they fall under the same scheme. I will post more details about this project as I figure out more.

Splatter Painting: The Result

I've created roughly 10 splatter paintings, possibly more and I finally decided what I want to do with them all. After examining my paintings, I noticed that they have a light vs dark theme. I also realized that two of my paintings had both light and dark themes. So, I decided to mount my paintings. I will keep the light paintings on one side, the dark paintings on the other and use the two paintings with both light and dark themes as transitions paintings. I decided to mount the paintings so it would mimic splatter paintings on a large scale. This is only the paintings in the set up I want them to. I am still in the process of mounting them. I am using mounting tissue which is essentially double sided tape. At the end, when my paintings are mounted on the board, I will frame the large painting.

Pollock at MOMA

On Friday, STAC went to MOMA and for the first time, I really enjoyed going to a museum. I usually find museums boring and dull. But since I found a new found joy in splatter/drip paintings, I had artwork to look for. I found myself near Jackson Pollock's work for the majority of the time. I would find myself staring at the enormous splatter paintings for over 20 minutes. I could not even begin to explain why I observed the painting for so long. I got lost in the painting and my mind was set loose to think about everything and anything. My only wish is that I could have had a closer look at the paintings so I could look at the brush strokes and the have a better perspective of the texture of the piece. I hope to add more texture to my splatter paintings as I continue experimenting with it.

Acting Discussions

Discussing the acting is more difficult than the acting itself. We have started analyzing scenes again in STAC and I once again realize talking about acting is challenging. Subconsciously, everyone has something they want when they are speaking but since it's subconscious, we don't really realize what it is we want. So, as I was analyzing a scene from The Rainmaker by N. Richard Nast, there were certain parts of the scene where identifying File's want was puzzling. Sometimes, people do not want others to realize what they want and they hide it. File, I feel, does this during the scene sometimes which makes it difficult to pinpoint what exactly he wants. One can't make up what he wants, but there also does not need to be a right or wrong. As long as the want fits the parameter of the moment, it's acceptable. What I will have to do is get better at analyzing wants and start to notice what I want when I speak so I can better analyze it in a script.

More Paintings!

I experimented using inks in my paintings and this is what turned out. I really like using ink because the color is much more rich and a lot thicker than water color. I can't really say if I am "improving" as I do more paintings but I do know I am truly enjoying it. It's a lot of fun and it's peaceful for me to do.

Fourth Quarter Project

I've been having a lot of trouble deciding what I want to do fourth quarter. I know it has something to do with acting. It needs to as I need begin training for college auditions next year and for professional acting. I have had many moments of acting naturally the past year but I need to make sure I do that all the time. Part of my problem is, I have no idea how to do that. The times I have done it, I have no idea what I was doing. So, for fourth quarter, I need to figure out what I was doing so I can do it each time I have to act.
For STAC Art, I know what I'm doing. I'm doing drip/splatter paintings. I am practicing on a smaller scale first and then I will purchase a large canvas and make the painting on a larger scale. I'm not sure what size I'd like yet but I still have sometime to figure it out.

Fourth Day of Charcoal Drawings

This day I was experimenting drawing my face with charcoal drawings. I got easily distracted and started drawing faces I felt were more interesting/entertaining to draw. I'd say my favorite one is the face in the middle row farthest to the left. Why you may ask? I don't know. That's the face my eyes are drawn to first. He doesn't look very amused and looks like death in a sense. This was probably one of my favorite days of charcoal drawings; drawing silly faces was quite entertaining.

Third Day of Charcoal Drawings

This day I only had time for one charcoal drawings but this is probably one of my favorites. Ever have that feeling where someone is watching you? I get that feeling all the time and this drawing represents that. Often times, you cannot tell who is watching you or from where so I decided to draw one giant eye that constantly has a vision of everyone all the time. There are certain areas to avoid this line of sight and others where you fall directing into "the trap."

Second Day of Charcoal Drawings

 The charcoal drawing to the left was an experiment I had. I noticed that I could use the charcoal residue on my fingers to make fingerprints and I really loved this idea. I rolled with it and ended up creating a stampede type of image just by using my fingerprints. This charcoal drawing was especially fun because I was able to simply press my fingers into a piece of paper rapidly and have this interesting pattern turn up.





This charcoal drawing to the right using a similar style. I continued using fingerprints to indicate a person's movement. This drawing represents the various paths people have in life and how there are some obvious options you can take but there are less obvious options that people do notice but don't take because it's a path that hasn't been explored before and sometimes people don't want to risk treading new waters first.

First Charcoal Drawing

This is one of my first three charcoal drawings. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to find the other two. The first three drawings revolved around a similar scheme of weather. Weather severely effects my mood and when I drew this some weeks ago, there was constantly snow or rain. Quite frankly, I was getting sick of it so I decided to use the frustration I had from the irritating weather and put on paper for my first ever charcoal drawings.